NO Gym

Ok I have to throw in the white towel, I am juz not cut out for the gym. No matter how I try to argue, I cant seem to justify why I should go to the gym. Me and gym juz do not go in one sentence ah ... I am begining to see more and more why my friends laugh hysterically when I say I wanna go to the gym. Lets list down all the reasons why gym is a no no for me. Oh and btw these reasons are generated from various points of views I have heard from my darlings:

1. One reason I wanted to gym is to tone up and this is what one of my friend said to me when I uttered the reasoning: "Tone WHAT?!". Ok I admit I am abit the thin, so I can see my friend's confusion in this matter so if I wanna tone up I am gonna have to go and fatten myself up first. Which means I have to go and eat more than ONE meal a day...and and I have to FINISH up my food. Erm how ah this is abit the hard to do! Dammit!
2. According to quite a number of my friends, after you go to the gym, your appettite (or however you spell it) will be greater...in other words you will get hungry lah after you exercise but ah I didnt ley!!!! I freaking lost all desire to eat cause I was toooooo freaking tired to chew my freaking food! I lost THREE freaking kg within 2 days of gyming for god sake! So in conclusion, I need to REALLY fatten up before I go to the gym again. Which mean I have to go and eat ...eh wait a minute I've said this already refer to the top lah!
3. The morning after the gym I woke up feeling paralysed! I cant move ...I was only able to let my arm wonder about my bed for my phone (I didnt even bother shifting my head btw) and dial my buddy's number and uttered this: "I cant move, I cant move, help help help"... This btw is not followed by expressions of concern of any sort but more of hysterical laughter and "See lah bodoh kan, I told you not to listen to him, what flabby, nonsense, see now how, now cannot move...bodoh". Moral of the story, dun bother complaining to your buddy, juz stay in bed and bear with it until you finally feel something in your limbs, move, go out and meet ur friends and pretend nothing is wrg wit you. Then if you really cant take it, juz strt complaining in front of them, they will be more kind if this happens infornt of them, my friends abit the visual ah ...if not kindness dun register in their heads!
4. I was freaking sick free before I go to the gym but post-gym...my god! I have been chucking down two panadol extras every four hours! WHY? Becoz I keep getting headaches and threats of fever! As of now I officially have a full blown cough and a running nose sooooooooooooooooo fun, woke up this morning feeling WORSE than the days before. Dear friends sorry if you guys get sick as well ah in the near future....cant blame me my immune system tired, the viruses must have attacked when they were resting post my psychotic episode at the gym! Bloody gym!

In conclusion, gym is juz not for me lah, not yet aniwes, shall listen to my friends, you need to stat slow...really really slow since you have not done any form of exercise for like kezillion years! Ok friends for once I have to admit you are right....