Missing piece

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

A quote from my buddy's blog...is this what I am missing? Devoting myself to loving others...was I this numb when I was more invovled in the lives of my cousins whom I have strayed away from since I gotten into NIE? Come to think of it I was more alive but I was also more troubled, troubled by their choices that they make in life, troubled by the path they took in life. So I left...I appear when I feel like appearing, I disappear when I feel too much heat...Does that mean I have abandoned the ones I love and what I face now is pure retribution, feeling alone despite being surrounded by friends. Miss them tons, dun know how to build back what I had though...dun know if I can handle the used to be familiar turmoils either...