AM DONE

Woke up early today. Like seriously early. For those that do not know me well enuf...even on normal days I dun wake up until 9. Aniwes before I slept, I had an interesting conversation with my friend Massie about how psychotic and phathetic we have been turning lately. Its like we gave up trying to save our own dignity and self worth and just succumb to what our emotions wants us to do. This is despite knowing the highly possible triggering of undesirable feeling of emptiness, sadness blah blah blah yada yada after doing whatever it is that embaresses us like hell.

When I woke up, my last thought was still floating in my head ... 'I need to let go'. Hmmm...and you know what...I think this time, I can do it. Somehow, it has finally registered in me....why the hell am I so upset about klivo when he is obviously happy out there somewhere with whoever it was that he went back to. I wanted that, and I got that and hence I should suck it up and juz freaking move on. Not juz 'I dun wanna think about him anymore' move on...but the enuf is enuf, you have reached the ultimate low and jus let it go. He is NEVER coming back, He is NEVER gonna call...and no matter how many sketches of him you make, he is NEVER gonna materialise EVER. So give it up!

1. First stop...throw da memory album that you have made of him. CHECK!
2. Second stop...delete his damn number. CHECK!
3. Third stop...stop talking about him to your friends. This btw is an ongoing process and will begin as soon as I meet my friends. Hence for now..NO CHECK!
4. Forth stop...STOP comparing him with whichever guy you meet from now onwards. Who gives a damn if he made you coffee in the morning or accompanied and helped you mark or spent the day annoying you in such an adorable manner at bird park or turned starwars into da sexiest movie ever or made simple good morning soooo adorably annoying tt you smile fom ear to ear for the rest of the day! Hahaahah! Bottomline...he has stopped doing that and most likely IS doing all of it to that gerl and has forgotten about me. And soooooo it is seriously time for me to take my personal life seriously again and dun treat it like a freaking survival game.

Enuf is enuf Jubiez...u r getting seriously scary nowadays. Oh and did I mention that I also had a pretty revealing talk wit one of Rafil's fren which ended with him saying:

"So despite being aware of all this, you are STILL doing all this nonsense"

Ok...that made me sound DAAAAAMMMMMNNNNNN stupid and I hate it when that happens...and hence I jolly well do something about it before I really am stupified by my dumbass actions. So ya, Klivo. I am done. I am done crying for you, thinking about you, worrying about you and most of all I AM DONE, loving you when you obviously dun deserve and didnt want my love in the first place. I wud of coz never wish anything bad to happen to you. Lets be realistic you cant juz press the OFF button to my feelings but I do hope that one day you looked back in time and realise what you have lost. Even if its not my love at least the friendship that we had and feel the regret and the remorse you put me through. I'm gonna walk the talk this time...I promise. I'M DONE (FULLSTOP)