Marriage

I have just hit 30 and people around me keep asking ...so when are you settling down? When are you getting married? Who is the lucky man? and my reply will usually be ...not in the near future followed by an image of me slamming their faces into the wall, in my head. Is it seriously a must for me to get married? I am not against marriage but neither am I one who strongly believe that a person MUST get married. If you find someone that you want to spend the rest of your lives with, by all means, GO RIGHT AHEAD. But PLEASE do not ...I repeat do not, go out of your way to look for a guy BECAUSE you think you need to get married.

Sometimes in life you will meet one you THINK you have found the right person that you wanna spend your life with BUT there are truely BIG issues between you two that prevents you from getting on that wagon. For example lifestyle. Like myself, my boyfriend, whom I think will soon be my ex boyfriend, lives in two different parts of the day...LITERALLY. I work and function in the morning while he in the night. When I am awake he is asleep and when I am asleep he is awake. We ... ok lets not kid myself, I try my best to meet him in between by volunteering to drive him to work whenever I can.

Another example of a barrier is religion. My soon to be ex boyfriend (if he decides to leave, which I suspect he will) is a Chatholic (Spelling?) Christian while I am a muslim. Both unwilling to convert and what do we have ... a relationship that is not going anywhere unless both agrees simply being together is as good enough as a marriage. Frankly speaking, I would walk down that road. I rather sacrifice the "joys" of marriage and make do with what I can have with him given our constraints but to some, and I guess to him that just mean the relationship is going nowhere.

The next possible reason is parents. MY parents are those that you can say seriously conventional and every small issue that does not go in their direction, they deem to be utterly disappointing. This explains why I have yet to introduce my soon to be ex boyfriend to my parents. Not that I am saying he is a disappointment. He truely is not...but he is not the kind that that my parents have in mind for their one and only daughter. It takes a while to understand my soon to be ex and time is not in my parents' dictionary. It takes TIME to get TIME to prove to my parents and my soon to be ex do not seem to want to find the TIME to earn that TIME from my parents! Confused? ME TOO! Hahahahahah!

So I guess I have to face it, my relationship is a dead end with two different sets of expectations between the two of us. Unless there is a miricle, that one day I figured out a way to put the ones I love together or my soon to be ex boyfriend decides that I am worth the sacrifice ...there is no way in hell will my relationship can survive this last battle. To be fair I have to let go even if letting go kills me.