Friendship

Friendship is a very tricky thing. I thought it was pretty black and white...but more recently I realise that it is not. I also realise that I am not as good of a friend as I thought I am but somehow or rather in my head, despite thinking that its wrong for me to treat a friend a certain way, I continue to do so coz at the end of the day...I, be it conciously or subconciously, put myself first.

How do I react to a friend whom I perceive to be annoying more often than not? As the saying goes, A good friend is one who accepts you the way you are. BUT seriously ...how do I accept when the friend is so god damn bloody annoying? I know that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, everyone has their preferences and their points of view. BUT there is simply no denying the existence of unwritten rules of society such as:

1. Respect others if you want others to repect you.
2. The world does not revovle around you.
3. Do not make others to do your bidding.
4. Self praise is an international disgrace
5. Treat others they way you want to be treated.
6. No one like a two face.

I guess there are kezillion rules out there which I will probably learn about as I socialise throughout my lifetime. I have to admit I am guilty of breaking some of these unwritten rules. Such as being a two face. Despite annoying me like hell, when this friend of mine ask me out, I will go, when this friend give me a call, I am most likely to pick up that call and when she does what she does, which is to annoy me ...I will complain like mad but do I stay away from her...for awhile maybe but sooner or later I will fall back into that cycle. I am torn from being a supportive friend and a person at the verge of loosing my patience. But how dooooo I react to if your request a prayer for a suffering relative is somewhat turned down, how do I react when you are continuously pestered into things you dun wanna do? How do I react when you are belittled? How do I react when claims made were untrue? How do I react when seeking of help turn into offering of help? How do I react knowing I am a friend for a reason? How do I react when I have to continue to cover up for flaws? I am not saying that I am perfect. I am not. I am definately not. How do I react? I turn my back on them...just as I will expect others to turn their back on me if I am ever that annoying. That dun make me a very good person huh? Well I'm trying... for now...I am just tired ....